Ever notice how many real estate agents think it is all about them?  “I’m Number One!”; “Mega Million Dollar Producer!” or “X” Hundreds of Homes Sold! ,  etc.  Most people are unimpressed with this type of egotism. So, given this reality, what is the best way to be an effective people person (replace with effective real estate professional if it applies) in a fascinating way?

First and foremost: Listen more than you talk! In other words, ask a lot of questions. The challenge is, if you ask closed ended questions, you sound like you are grilling the other person. Instead ask open ended questions such as “What brings you to town?” or “What is causing you to move?”.  Open ended questions invite an answer other than yes or no.

Next learn and master the very best (in my opinion) conversational technique – Acknowledge and Ask and Answer and Ask. When the person to whom you are talking answers your question, acknowledge their answer and then ask another question, such as “Great, so you’re taking a new job in town; when do you start?” If they ask you a question Answer and Ask (another question) such as “What do you do? I am in Real Estate Sales; will be looking for a rental or will you be interested in purchasing a home?”. What makes this technique so powerful is: you are asking them questions about them, which demonstrates you are interested in them and their needs, not in yourself.

As you learn about the person to whom you are speaking, start to share things you have in common to build rapport. Be cautious; the inclination is to make the connection as soon as it appears. That seems self-serving and makes the conversation about you. Ask open ended questions first until it is obvious that you are focused on them; not yourself.

When you are asked about yourself, share information about you relating to the things about which you are passionate.  Enthusiasm is contagious. And remember, as you share information enthusiastically about yourself, keep asking questions. Remember to keep Acknowledging and Asking  and Answering and Asking

Once you have built rapport, Offer Help. Find out what you can do for the other person – either now or in the future. Something like “If I can ever be of help, or if you ever need a local resource – don’t hesitate; I am here to help.” Even if they never need your help, they will remember you offered.

Be Your Market Expert! Know Your Market!  Either they will bring it up (almost everyone is interested in real estate) or you will when they ask what you do. Either way, you must know more than they do; after all – you are the Real Estate Professional. With all the real estate information available on the internet (much of it not accurate), everybody knows something about real estate, so you have to know more than they do (or think they do).

Finally, Genuinely Like and Be Interested in People, and the rest will come easily. Follow these easy steps and you will become an Effective People Person in a Fascinating Way!

Jeff Young, Coach at Corcoran Consulting and Coaching is an active real estate agent specializing in helping Sellers, Buyers and Real Estate Agents achieve their goals through effective communication.